The story of Light and dark
by Fuyuko-Haname
Summary: Kaleen of Etren is the spunky type of guy, except that "he" is a girl. In order to become the Emperor she has to pretend that she is her twin brother. Falling in love is bad thing to do. AND that is what happens.
1. Prolouge

The _**Black **_prince

PROLOUGE

For most of my life I was raised as a female. I wore dresses and wanted to be just like my mother. I was given anything and everything I ever wanted, though I never wanted much. I had a brother and we were happy enough to have food, a comfortable bed and each other. We relished the privacy we had. Not many people knew we existed.

On the day we were to be introduced into court, my brother died. My name then had been Kaleen, and my brother was Kaien. Kaien was my twin. We both were skinny and short, had long blackish hair, our eyes were dark violet. We matched perfectly. Our mother would drop by scarcely, and when she did, we would always present her with any flower that matched our eyes. Voilets became our flowers

Anyone who knew us always thought we were both girls. That was when I had no chest, and kaien never did have very broad shoulders, leading every one to think that he too was a young girl. Kaien would always laugh about it whenever we were alone. He absolutely loved being like me. On days when we bathed our clothes would come off and end up on each other. Or when I wasn't around, he'd take one of my dresses and go to my classes. He always did very well. Of course I was forced to take his lessons which mostly ended up being sword fighting and languge.

One day he stopped, he never again went to any of my classes. Our maid, the young girl he said he had fallen in love with, had spoken to her sister about him being to girly. Somehow it got back to my brother and I, and the next morning to my surprise his once ankle length hair was only above his ears. That was two weeks before his death. We were both thirteen. He said if he was to be a proper king he had to be a man who was handsome and didn't look like a girl. Some one who knew how to fight well.

I thought that would shake our bond. But life with him continued on. We still picked flowers, we still talked all the way into the morning, and he still only smiled for me.

He died suddenly during the night. I remember hearing labored breathing and soft sighs as I fell asleep, threw out sneaking suspicons of a sickness coming. In the morning when I awoke, I found my brother dead with a look of peace on his face. My screams awoke every one within the other five apartments.

I did not want to live with out him. My mother was the first to find me holding his stiff body and a knife to my throat. She did not cry as she pried both of them from my grasp. I understood. My mother did not want to admit defeat to the Emperor's other wives, who had younger sons. She didn't have time to grieve, at least not then. She cut my once long hair and dressed me in my brother's clothes. She then shoved Kaien in one of my dresses. Taking his hands she whispered something I couldn't hear. Once she was done, all she did was nod in my direction. It meant I had to be my brother. She left me dazed and angry.

They planned a grand funeral for my brother under my name. When the time came, my father visited my mother, he try hard not to speak to her, he gave a light hug and left quickly. He came over to me and I knew what he would say. He looked at me with a crooked smile. "I know that your sister was very close to you, but thank god it was only her." I began to laugh. My father had no idea that it was really me. I doubt he ever would.


	2. Chapter one

Chapter 1: Fast paced time, smiles

Two years have passed since my brother died. The world did not stop moving, I was not allowed to be free, and almost every trace of female had been torn away from me. I still had things any normal woman would have, and the things that accompanied being a woman. Every day I hid my chest, and every day I learned something my brother would have known. I was no longer the fifth princess but the first Prince. I was the best treasure my father had. ThaT was because I knew how to fight, I was handsome, and I was a legitimate heir: I was the ultimate tool.

Where I live the winter freezes the ground to about at least five feet. Anyone who dies during those harsh months had to wait till spring to be buried. That's exactly what my mother had to go through. When they were at last able to hold her funeral, her body had already begun to stink. The funeral was held on a day when the sun shined beautifully. It was a waste, to hold a memorial service on a day like this, and I skipped it.

"Prince? Aren't they holding second empresses funeral today." I nodded towards the maid who had said it. "Yes, but I'm not going." the maid sighed and bid me farewell.

"_Kaleen!"_

My brother flashed through my mind. And I knew why, I was walking through the garden, our garden. The one we often played in as little kids. It also had all the flowers we had planted. I gasped at where I had stopped; unconsciously I had walked in front of the violets. Picking a few I went towards my brothers' grave. It was farther away than most and even more secluded. My mothers freshly dug grave sat beside it. As did countless still stillborns and ill fated children of hers. I would not put flowers on her grave; she was the one who had condemned me to this wretched life. I was glad she had passed. The violets lay coldly against his granite marker, as did some white petals. I began to leave when I saw through the woods a faint flicker of red. It was most likely a small campfire of a homeless peasant. But as I concentrated harder at it I could see it moving in and out of the trees, when I had almost got a good look, a silver fasten shined and blinded me. The forest seemed so close to me I felt a familiar pang in my chest and ran. The garden passed by me in second as did countless other things. I ran faster than my brother could have ever done. Less than a minute had passed and already I was at my own room.

"I want you to have a suitable bride, a young prince should have a princess able to hold the position of empress." my father stared at me. He was imposing and childish at the same time. Every word he spoke was with a grin plastered on his face. His grey eyes crinkled easily in to a wrinkle. He stroked the wretched beard.

"This is Victoria; she is the Seventh princess of a small neighboring country, a simple princess actually. Beautiful, but simple." my father boasted. The girl he had before him surely was pretty, she was elegant, and she was something I could have been. I reached out in a moment of weakness to grasp her long flaxen hair. Pulling my hand back, she smiled coyly at me.

"I pass. Is this all?" she made me sick. I didn't like her, she seemed whorish and only for the gain of being empress. If my brother had actually been the one choosing, I would never have approved. He motioned her out of the room and got another girl to come. The next one had a dark red halo of hair "This is Delena. Second princess of Dendren. Kaien wasn't the fifth princess's name something close? She looks like her to." I glared at my father and venomously spat at him. "You know full well her name was Kaleen. Kaleen didn't have red hair either" an awkward pause followed my outburst. But I wasn't ready to end it. "You're going senile, if I cut my hair, you might well call me, Lelazai." I turned away from his scathing look to see the princess staring weirdly. I got up and hurried. But as the door slammed, I nodded towards the girl and smiled. She smiled back at me.

The door closed and another conversation began between them. I put my ear to the door.

"He's very handsome." began the princess.

"But who was Kaleen? Was she his lover?" the princesses' voice was very soft and I was having trouble hearing her words.

"Kaleen was my daughter, his twin. She died when they were thirteen, if she were alive you'd is the same age… I also remember that she was engaged to your brother at birth" the king stopped. "But she was perhaps his only and best friend. I don't think he could trust anyone but her." the emperor sighed. Like he was letting loose sorrow

"See when Kaien was Seven; my younger brother had him kidnapped. For some reason my brother wanted him for a scheme to over throw me. Of course it failed and we found him, but still, we lost Kaien for three days. When he finally came back he never smiled, his face just was blank. That went on for days and days. We had decided to hide Kaleen so she wouldn't get taken. We left her out at a castle in the north, every day for a month she would urge her mother to let her see him, and finally she relented. When Kaleen looked at him with her big violet eyes, he began to laugh and sob. Holding onto her, he ended up falling asleep. Only for her, for her he would smile. But then she died, leaving him to always scowl." the emperor must've set this story up to con an unsuspecting female to do his bidding. Surely he continued to speak, as if he knew he would get what he wanted.

"I want my son to smile once more even if it's only for one person, can you try and help me." She must have been nodding because I couldn't hear her at all. I was sick of this conversation and was ready to see my Teacher.

He taught me art, his name was Pien. He was twelve and a genius. Before he came to the castle he had wandering the streets. He stole my money and in return I gave him a home and a job. First we had him in the kitchen, but he was so small, that it didn't work. One day as I sat waiting for my other art teacher, and I saw a painting. It was so beautiful. A moon that had a girl on it. Both shone brightly

. When I asked Nicola, the art teacher if he had done it, he lied and said he did. I was in love with the painting and thought I had fallen in love with Nicola. I loved that class. One day I asked Pien to come and he did. When I showed him the picture he gasped and ran off. I caught up with him and wiped away his tears. Imploring him to tell me what was wrong. When I got back to the studio I fired my teacher and hired Pien.

Entering the room we used, I saw him facedown in a bucket of paint. immediately I thought the worst. So when I saw his face emerge I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

"Pien! You scared me." I yelled as I grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and pushed him onto a chair. He giggled and looked at me.

"sir?" he mumbled between wipes.

"yes pien?"

"You- remind me of….." Pien stopped

"Go on."

"you remind me of a mommy!" Piens face went a bright red, as I dropped the towel I had been holding.

"Mommy?" I whispered. Shaking the feeling I had, I pretended to get angry.

"Don't be absurd. I'm a male, I can't be a mother." I scolded him. After a while of painting I began to smile.

"just so you know, you remind me of a puppy." he smiled and grabbed my hand.

"your brush works a little clumsy." was all he said.

The swords master fell down, and landed on his butt. One look and we both began to laugh. Removing his face guard the swords master let his long Silvery hair fall out. His green eyes shimmered. I could feel my heart beat rise but I had no idea why. His name was Seyth and since I was born he had been my best friend. He left ever so often for months at a time. In a ladies sense, Seyth was very handsome, in a Mans sense he was a rival. Seyth was much older than me. When we first met he had been fifteen, and I only ten. I think I had thought him being a demon. And I told him that, the only thing he did was laugh.

He opened his mouth. "I've heard through a reliable source that your father wants you to get married." he gazed at me, with a dreamy look.

"yes he does, he says that he has several suitable candidates."

I made a face and started to speak again, but he beat me to it

"Kaien. Do you ever miss your sister, I mean kaleen?" he asked me, suddenly as he got up.

"Of course I do, we loved each other very much, and she was my sister." I could see seyths face contort.

"I miss her to, and I think I loved her. When she died I kept having a dream where she would say, "don't worry, I'm not gone, and I will be there when I'm needed." I went to the star readers, but they scoffed me and told me to leave. I figured just a year ago I loved her."

I coughed on the water I had begun to drink. "You loved her? And you dream about her?" I asked, astonished. He faintly smiled and turned away. "Yes"

I was astonished. Seyth was someone I looked up to. I could never have seen this coming. "Seyth the other day some flowers were on my sisters' grave. Did you pick them?" seyth nodded.

"She told me, after Violets, her favorite flower was a white anemone. I know that every time you're in the garden or you go to see the grave you bring violets, I couldn't bring her your special flower." I wanted to shiver. He was making me feel different from how I had previously felt about him. "Seyth."

He laughed, like a child. "but your sister is dead. Anyway, I doubt she liked me."

"Seyth!" I shouted

"yes." he meekly looked at me

"I think if you had given her a chance. When she was still alive she would have fallen in love with you." I pointed to the tower.

"she loved it up there." seyth nodded, he understood what I was saying.


	3. Chapter two

Chapter 2 : Memories of a Whisper, sorrow

**I headed up towards the tower that held the doves. I felt the silk of a dress I borrowed rustle against the cold stones. The cold night air irritated my skin and I sneezed. **

I thought for the longest time on what had happened. Staring out the window calmed me down. I was happy that Seyth was in love with me. When I got back to my room, I smiled. Pulling off the dress I bound my chest and tied my hair up. It was time to sleep. "Wake up prince." resounded a voice through my chambers. "You have a guest." the voice sounded urgent, but I had no need to hurry. Slipping a tunic on over my trousers I sauntered over to the door. Once I opened it, a flurry of red ran in.

"So Prince?" asked a voice. "Are you doing something today?" I shook my head and noticed my tie had fallen out. Once I leaned over she began to speak. "Well you know my name is Delena, and I know your name is Kaien."

I looked up at her through my hair. "Yes?"

She smiled at me, and turned. "Since we're properly acquainted, would you mind joining me in that lovely garden?" I struggled a little. "Yes, I guess I could."

"A rumor has been spread around." Delena looked at me, and fidgeted with her hands.

"Supposedly a ghost has been haunting the North tower, the one that holds all the doves. I heard a maid talking about it." I gasped.

"Really? Who is she? Why haven't I heard about it?" My mind was reeling. Was I careless enough to let someone see me? Delena eyed me and began to talk again. "Of course you wouldn't know. They say it's your sister and she is desperately searching for something." Elena twirled. "They say your sister was beautiful. I wish I could have seen her. Is it true though?"

"Of course, no one except maybe me." I laughed "was better looking" We continued to walk at a slow pace. When we passed the violets, she asked if we could see the grave. I reached and scooped some violets. Elena went over to the wild roses and picked a bloody red one. Once we reached the grave and had set the flowers down, Elena surprised me. In a rather sweet and tender voice, she whispered could just faintly her say Kaleen_ Beles Etren. _This was my own name._ "_She must have been very pretty." she followed after a bit of silence. I sighed as I swept my eyes over the small print of the headstone. Underneath my name was the inscription. "The violet princess".

Delena sighed too. "Hey. Kaien. You never told me your name."

"Oh, really?" I asked amused

"Yes!" she answered brightly with a mock smile

"It's….." I paused

"A horrible name! But if you must know I am Kaien Berin llind Etren. Both I and Kaleen always hated our names. I especially hated mine. My mother named me you see?"

"You have fun with the princess of Dendren?" asked Seyth as he blocked my thrust.

"You could say that. I mean we went to the garden and she wanted to know if Kaleen was as pretty as they say." I smirked

"So you said?"

"I told Delena that she was as beautiful as me!"

"Vain much!?" and then a thought occurred slowly.

"Wait how did you know I was with her?"

"Prince, if you don't mind me saying so, every maid knows what you did, you can not hide going out of the room with a female." I shrugged and lunged. Missing him by an inch. Just as I turned Seyths sword went flying and hit my hair tie. My hair fell out of its secure hold and showed how long it actually was. "Oh dear, you look very handsome when you let your hair down. I'm very popular with the women and my hair is half as long as yours." I knew what he meant. My hair was all the way down to my thighs, and seyths to his middle back. All the women loved it. "You also have hair like stars. I think the women like that. Even if it's not natural!" seyth laughed at my silly banter.

"So?" I asked. "Anymore dreams about my sister?"

"Yes and no, now its dreams about….. "He paused. His face had look like he wasn't sure what to say next. "You." I opened my mouth wide. I wanted to break the tension.

"Really, do you love me now?" we both laughed.

"Of course I love you. You're like a little brother, to me." seyth put his arm around me, and tugged. "But don't you have some work to do."

I arrived as my little brother began to yell. He was shouting for something or other, and for me that was Unacceptable. I silently walked up behind him and motioned for the maids to be quiet. "Brikea!" I whispered slowly in his ear.

"Kaien?" he answered back, almost terrified

" what are you making a fuss about?" brikea turned to look up at me.

" oh brother! I've missed you, and they kept saying your sick." big tears fell out of his amber eyes. " I'm not sick, I hate when they use that exscuse!" I glared at my maids.

" So, any ways, lets continue on, into my private chambers." Brikea went ahead ,as I had instructied. I looked over to the three maids that had denied him acess.

" he is my brother, he is allowed to see me." the maids nodded and started to back away.

" and I also hear that my maids are spreading outlandish tales about me. And I have heard that some one is spreading ghost stories about my sister." I glared harder.

" that is insolence, and I will not stand you making a fool of me." One of the maids began to cry, and I lost some anger. Covering my face I bid them farewell.

" Older brother, did you make your maids cry again?" Brikea smiled sweetly up to me. Choking back the urge to laugh, I nodded. He smiled again and I couldn't hold back the laughter. Brikea did not understand, and was about to question me. I held up my hand for him to be silent. "You may not understand but they have spread false rumors."

"About what?" he asked

" our sister."

"our sister? Which one, we have dozens?"

" the one you cant rember. Her name was Kaleen."

"Kaleen?"

" when she was alive, she looked exactly like me. In fact we were twins!"

Brice gasped.

" you're a twin?"

" yes, but she died almost three years ago. In two months we would have been sixteen."

" really? tell me more. Brother." I looked into Brikea's eyes as he stared at me. I was going to tell him a story no one else knew.

" Kaleen and I were very close, and when I say close, I don't mean like how close we are. She was my best friend, my sister, and a savior." I glanced at the clock.

" when ever we were alone she would tell me how much she loved me and she never wanted me to get hurt. I think that's why she put up with our mothers demands,. She would do almost anything I asked her to do. Whenever I got sick, she would go get any flower I wanted. If I asked she would trade places with me. As the day ended she would come back, covered with bruises. But she never complained. She was a good sister, and I hope I was a good brother."

It was almost time for me to go to the north tower. " Now get." I demanded and my brother left.

I was in the north tower, all alone. This time I had come as a male, I had to be cautious, so I wouldn't be caught. The door behind me clicked and I found my self face to face with Seyth. Luckily his face was turned and I had time to run and hide.

" Delena. I'm sick of being here! I want to go home."

So…Delena and seyth knew one another, but it didn't surprise me

" Be quiet. You have someone you love right. You always sent letters about this vixen of black. You must stay and make her yours! Then you can come home and have dozen of children." I could see through the crack in the curtains and knew the way seyth stood that he was ready to hit her. " we've already been over this, she died, shes dead, not breathing. Are you an idiot?" Delena shrugged but didn't say anything. Seyth regained composer. " Sorry, are you angry at me?" he asked with a tone of fear.

" Seyth I have no reason to be angry at your saddness." she cooly answered.

" Anyways why are we in here? couldn't you have found some place better?"

" This is the perfect place. Since it was the violet princesss' sanctuary no maids, servants, or teachers are allowed. " that shocked me seyth was a teacher and always claimed he had no noble blood in him. "Violet princess? That was on her gravestone. Why so?"

Seyth laughed. " I'm amazed that you haven't heard about this yet. Every hundred years a set of twins are born to the emperor. And they have some trait that really stands out. So they get a title. It just happened that she had bright amazing purple eyes, and she earned the title of Violet princess. Her brother got the title of the Obsidian prince."

" I asked the prince the other day if she was really as beautiful as they say. But the prince didn't really give me a good answer. So, you tell me." Delena glanced over to the window as though she was bored. " I met her when she was ten and she was really cute, but when she was Twelve she got so pretty. Especially her smile."

" I guess we should go then." was all she said


	4. Chapter three

_**Chapter three; Indenture unknown, lovely**_

_**I would be sixteen tomarrow. A ball was going to be held in my honor. My father liked going big even at my request not to. The only part I had a choice in was what clothes to wear. It would be black because I was the Obsidian prince. I was actually pleased, but I would never let anyone know. I glanced at a dress and a mans outfit in the far corner of the sewing mistresses room. The dress was a lavender gown adorned with ameythist. The mans was a snowy silver with drops of onyx. It had a hood large enough to cover someones face. glancing around I slipped on the dress.**_

" _**Is it a hobby to try on other peoples dresses?" asked a very familiar voice. When I turned I saw the one person I didn't want to. It was my father. **_

" _**I knew when you were younger you would do this. I laughed about it, but now it's a disgrace! Get it off now!" **_

" _**I don't want to talk to you! Your forcing me to this asinine shit!"**_

_**I glared at my father. **_

" _**You always fought me, I thought I had that cured when my brother "kidnapped" you. I guess not." with a farwell grin he left. So it was my father who had scared my brother. Kaien after that had never been the same. " Father!" I whispered fiercely. " I will never forgive you."**_

_**I was amazed to see the creation Mistress Yei had made. It had long sleeves that spanned at the bottom. It consisted only of black and white. As I brushed my hair I could see I would look stunning. My hair fell into place, only a bit shorter than the bottom of the coat. I gave mistress Yei a bottle of the finest wine I could find. I knew that was a better gift than money because Mistress Yei was an alcoholic. I stepped out of the room and saw the next customer dozing against the wall. Snapping my fingers I awoke him. He lifted his hooded head and nodded. **_

_**She was very prettly dressed when she ambushed me outside my room. It was delena wearing a green and gold robe. **_

" _**Kaien, you have no idea how long I have been out here. My feet hurt like hell." I grinned**_

" _**I didn't ask you to be here, but if insist I will take you." she grabbed my arm and pulled me. At a certain point she stopped to catch her breath. " You- know- I-I- don't want to marry you." she began to huff. **_

"_**Though I want to be a friend. I can tell you need one." she gave me a little push and we entered the hall. As soon as I entered I could feel all eyes on me. When we reached the bottom, the whispering started once again. Only bits reached my ears but I didn't mind. **_

" _**well Kaien, I have someone you might want to see." Delena stepped aside to reveal a man wearing the beautiful suit I had seen the day before. When I reached his face, I began to laugh. " so you were a noble! You sly dog." he looked embarrassed as he reached into his pocket. Pulling slowly he brought up a ring. " Prince, this was made for you, it's steel from your old sword." **_

"_**amazing!" I looked at it closely and saw an inscription. Just as I was going to read it, a hand clasped over my eyes and mouth. It was slight and a little paler than most. I realized slowly who it was and bit. He yelped and began to back away. **_

"_**Shit, big brother!" I turned towards the speaker. It was my younger brother, Giren. He was pale, almost as much as me and had platinum colored hair. **_

" _**Giren.! don't do that, when you do I have no other choice than to bite you." I shrugged and smiled. **_

" _**Big brother." he whimpered **_

"_**your so nice Birkea. But you always hit me!" **_

" _**Brikea is seven , and you are fourteen, almost fifteen, you can handle it when I hurt you. don't worry when the time comes…….." I paused. The hem of the lavender dress was appearing. She was walking slowly down the staircase with elegance.I nudged my brother. **_

"_**Who is she?" **_

"_**You mean, you havent heard about her?" he gave me a look of disgust. **_

" _**really. how can you become emperor if you don't know about this kind of topic." he scowled at me as I smacked him. " just tell me, you dolt!" I ordered. He was getting on my nerves.**_

" _**Okay. Shes new to this area. She just came here two weeks ago. And the thing is shes got beautiful black hair, just like you."**_

"_**How come shes wearing a black veil?"**_

" _**they say she has a horrible scar on her right eye. They also say shes a witch, but I don't belive that. Probably - she just wants to seem alluring." I nodded and took it in. I ignored Giren, so he left with a wave , using the hand I bit. I watched him for a while and set off to find the two who had escaped. **_

" _**-She sure is beautiful."**_

" _**I heard she's a princess hiding from her father."**_

" _**she has a very pretty smile." **_

" _**I always believed that….."**_

"_**yes, I agree!" **_

_**as I walked along I could hear parts of others conversing. It amused me, they were not even trying to be couth. Showing how low blood they actually were. **_

_**The girl was standing against the wall. No one went near her. I trudged through crowd that wanted to speak to me. Finally I reached her. Extending a hand I asked her if she wanted to dance. I could barely hear her voice but I took it as a yes. Pulling her into my arms we began to spin. She leaned close to me and in surprisingly low voice she whispered. I stepped back. **_

"_**please excuse me, I must wash up." she didn't speak and I stepped away.**_

_**My mind reeled, "who was the last person I had danced with?" I couldn't remember anything as I stumbled through some hall. I felt a cool hand on my arm " Sorry." whispered a rather sweet voice as I bumped into the wall. I was groggy and my whole field of vison began to spin. Someone must of poisoned my food. If I didn't find my medicene surely I would die. Before I fell I looked around, a veil was in my eyesight. "Its not poison. it's a gift" whispered the sweet voice as I fell hard.**_

"_**Kiss me! Please Kaleen, kiss me on my lips. I want to rember your touch when I am all alone, when the heat of war licks at my chest. Kiss me.." a young man kneeled at the feet of a young woman. A white hood covered his face and his hair. But his voice was deep. The woman blushed as she looked away. " Kaleen I don't care about anything that happened. As far as I can tell you're okay, and I still love you. You are my Violet empress. I am your knight and future husband." the woman nodded. **_

**I awoke in my bed ,my clothes off. Exposing my chest. A knock on the door resounded as I hurried to dress. Oblivious I threw on the first thing.**

" **Kaien!? Kaien!" opening the door, immediately I was hugged. Stepping back, I noticed a strand of silver hair. "Yes? Seyth. Any reason to stop by my rooms this late at night?" Seyth sighed. "Didn't you hear?"**

"**No, I just woke up. I took a nap after dancing."**

"**Kaien, that was almost three days ago." my mouth opened wide.**

" **The thing is, your father is dead! You are now the emperor." seyths eyes had tears in them. **

" **im just so happy you weren't with your father when it happened." **

"**seyth? What happened exactly?" He became excited. **

"**Some man ran into the room, looked at every one, he went to your father and stabbed him in the heart." seyth looked at me again and started laughing. **

"**Kaien, you little dog, you havent been asleep. Theres a woman in there! To busy to even come out." looking down at my self, I saw I was in a pale yellow dress. **

" **No, really, I have been asleep. This was just the first thing I saw." I yawned. **

"**Why don't you come in, standing must be bothersome." he sat down on the edge of the bed as I looked into the mirror. My face seemed more femmine. My body had curves, and if I didn't want Seyth to find out I needed to change. "Kaien?" ventured Seyth. "Please take the dress off. Its disturbing."**

**No one seemed to be around as I let my hair down. I stood bent in front of my brothers grave, looking at the words. It was my name on the stone. I wanted badly to be the one in the grave rotting. I began to choke out words between my tears **_**"Brother…. I'm not sure what to do. Father has died, in a years time I will be the emperor. I have strange feelings. What should I do?" **_**his reply was silence**


	5. Chapter four

**Chapter four; Broken life, hands**

"**I'm lonely." I wanted scream from the highest tower. Since Seyth had left, I had nothing to do in the time we usually spent together. He had disappeared two days before Chotoren. His present was still wrapped and sat in a corner. Just like his birthday present to me, mine had a certain history. A silver pocket watch. A long time ago, when I was still in dresses, he once mentioned loving the planets and the moon. On the face plate was a crescent moon, a cross, and a sword. That was to be my crest. **

**Seyth had been gone for two months, and not once had I received a letter. I was beginning to get worried. Whenever I thought of him, it was him being attacked by a group of bandits, and my heart dropped. **

"**Today I will go to my garden." I assured myself. "I will pick every anemone, place them on Kaiens grave, and ask for his protection." I nodded to myself. **

"**I will, I will." as I passed a woman with a willowy figure. Her chestnut colored hair swung. **

"**Watch it you little brat." her voice filled with anger. When I didn't move she turned to look at me. Eyes widening in recognition, her words spewed out.**

"**Prince, I'm sorry. I thought you were my daughter. She is so clumsy, so when you went by….. Please forgive me."**

"**Aloi?" I asked when I took a better look. She nodded.**

"**Your Giren's mother?" she nodded again. **

"**You may not know but I soon will be emperor. If you ever do such a stupid thing again, I will have to fine you. I find you to be very rude. If I had been someone else, you would never have apologized. Don't think I haven't heard of you." I smiled at her. Shaking my head I walked on. Hearing the faint buzzing of her anger. **

"**She really is a stupid woman." I don't want a bitch like her getting the impression she could use me. I was harsh on her, but it was needed. I just wonder how Giren was going to take this.**

"**You insulted my mother!" Giren roared. His face was an inch away from mine. I could see flecks of red in his eyes. **

"**I do think I did, Giren. Normally I would never have done so, but I know she is not ….Please forgive me."**

"**I don't care if- if you insulted her and called her a fat pig-"**

"**I didn't call her a fat pig."**

"**No, that's what I would call her. But she went to my room after your little encounter, and she began to hit me. My mother hit me! I am the second prince and she hit me." Girens eyes filled with tears, his eyes narrowed and before I knew it, a punch landed on my nose. Blood poured. **

"**Help!" screamed Giren as I began to sway. Putting my hand over his mouth I spoke. **

"**Giren! If you call for help, and they come, they'll wonder how I got my nose broken. If they find out it was you…." I stopped as feet approached. Pulling him behind a pillar I spoke again. **

"**Father has died; I will be the next emperor. This could be very bad for you." given shook his head. Tears flew and landed on my check. **

"**Oh. Giren." I reached up to his face and wiped away his tears.**

"**Take me to Delena." I clutched onto his arm, he was just barely able to support my fainting frame. When I approached Delena's door I waved him off. Inside her room I fell to the floor.**

"**Kaien… Wake up." looking around, I noticed the white immaculate walls. Where was I? "You lost a lot of blood from your broken nose. Really that much shouldn't have been- Oh! I was so surprised when you fell to the floor." I blankly stared at a girl in front of me. **

"**I also think you hit your head pretty hard."**

"**Really am I kaien?" I asked her. She nodded a little skeptical. **

"**If you don't want to tell me why your nose is broken, it's alright. The only thing I want to know is why you came to me. When you could go see someone else with a bit more medical knowledge."**

"**You make me feel safe."**

**She hid herself well. But she was at disadvantage. Her skirt was large compared to my men's trousers. In the months that Seyth had disappeared, my time became free. Soon I began to seek the comfort of Delena, who somehow reminded me of seyth.**

"**Seyth" I whispered under my breath as the sun shined golden through the windows. Glancing back over to where I had seen the hem I giggled. "Delena? Where… are you?" I spoke evenly, even though I was giggling. When I heard no answer I laid down. Propping my head up I began to talk. **

"**You know hide and seek became boring for me when I was eleven, anyways I only enjoyed it because my sister did." Delena's Halo of red hair popped up in the corner. Grinning wide I began to laugh. **

"**You fell for it. I love hide and seek."**

"**Jerk!" **

"**Child."**

"**Bastard!"**

"**peasant." our verbal assaults went on for a long time, until both of us lay exhausted on the floor. **

"**Delena, do you have any brothers? Any sisters?" **

"**Yuh, but I'm only close to my older brother Soulcen, and older sister Monese. Those two and I have the same mother. Monese and I have this." she pulled a strand of her hair out. "Hair of blood," as the peasants calls it. They believe it's a reminder of all the blood my father spilt. My brother was lucky his hair was a chocolate colored, that was until he got sick."**

"**Really. I'm sorry my condolences." Delena stared at me with a blunt glance.**

"**He's not dead." **

"**She wants you gone, and soon she'll convince the council you need more schooling." Giren sat cross-legged in front of me. "Since you … talked. She seems to think you are unfit to handle the throne. Really she just wants you to be gone, so I can be emperor. I'm only fourteen, she can handle the affairs, she can be queen again. She will have me killed then." My eyelids began to droop. "Giren, thank you for the information, but I'm dead tired. Elena is like a child, and plays with me without rest. I just want to sleep." giren nodded. **

"**Can I sleep with you? I don't kick." he smiled at me.**

"**Sure Giren, but don't piss the bed." My brother was a sweet kid, only two years younger, but still so manly. He knows I'm supposedly frail, he wants to protect me.**

"_**Kaleen. Mommy says we shant pick the violets."**_

"_**Why?"**_

"_**I don' know. When I went to give her some, she made a face. I smelt violet on her already though." **_

" _**Kaien, she hit me with the brush. I was just trying to see her better and she smacked me."**_

"_**she has never hit me!?"**_

"_**She always hits me."**_

"_**I'm sorry Kaien, I can't really think of her as my mother anymore. I can't remember her telling me she loved me."**_

"_**Mother loves you. She loves me, she just …I'm sorry. I can't lie, I believe the same thing. I overheard her talking to Amerith, she said "That kid is always sickly, and the other one…. What a bother having twins." Sometimes I actually think she hates me.**_

"_**Kaleen. I will love you much more than anyone ever will."**_

**I awoke from my sleep to see giren staring at me. His mouth was shaped into a snicker. **

"**Are you laughing because I snore?" I mumbled**

"**No you talk about your self. You're crazy." reaching my hand up, I went to hit him. Seeing him flinch and remembering my dream I pulled back. "My mother used to hit my sister all the time." I said softly. "She would have bruises all over her back and her neck. My mother didn't really care about us, but especially not Kaleen." **

"**I never knew." **

"**I won't hit you anymore, even if you are annoying, or stupid. A brothers promise." we linked hands.**

"**A brother's promise." just as our hands parted an abrupt knock resounded. **

"**Master, Miss Aloi is looking for her son Giren. Have you seen him?" giren opened his mouth. Ready to speak. "No, I haven't seen him in awhile."**

"**Are you sure, is he in your quarters? Miss Aloi implores you to not withhold any information. She is desperately looking for her son." grimacing I started to talk fiercely. Finally the servant went away.**


	6. Chapter five

_Chapter five; Never kiss, Love_

"_we the council." the head councilman announced. "Have decided carefully, for the well being of our country, for your advandcment as well, to send you to a monastery. The monks there will take very good care of you. You will be there for six months. Please begin to pack what you need." I stared at his balding head._

"_A monastery?" my anger began to build. _

"_A monastery! Really. I need to advance my studies." I glared at each member._

" _since I was two I have been studying any known subject. How do you suppose I need to advance?"_

"_Lady Aloi has told us you recently met her. She also said you were very rude. You're a insolent child." the man snorted and waved to a servant. Who in turn pulled a chair out. "If going away means so much to you , shall we debate it?"_

"_And if we did, I wouldn't be so lazy as to sit. My ANGER will not be doused by such a trick. I will be emperor soon. I do not need a bunch of old goats telling me what I will do!"_

" _you are still a child!" _

"_I am sixteen! I am not a child!"_

" _you in my eyes, and to others, are a child."_

" _you, Saxson, are a bastard. I will not stand for this."_

"_I want you and Heen to head there, In a weeks time."_

" _Why are you involving Heen in this stupid game, he's just the Ma`nor captian."_

" _he will keep you out of trouble, as well as being your guardian. The monastery is a place you may get killed. We can not risk that." _

"_you don't care if I get killed, do you? You just say that so if I do die, they wont blame you." I thought for a moment._

" _I see…. I will go." the council men nodded with approval._

" _But as I see it, the only reason why you want me gone is because your fucking my step mother." the head councilman blushed with a dark red color._

"_Correct." I waved to the men, who stared in awe._

"_I will, defiantly see you men in six months!"_

_Heen of the east had sat on a large stone when I had met him. At the time he had only been sixteen. He was cold, hungry, and barely alive. His clothes were covered with soot. I assumed he had been in a fire. I was correct. His whole family had died. Their house was of straw and wood, and when a latern knocked over it had burned right away. His mother was frail and could barely move his father loved her more than stayed in the burning house; he would not let his wife die alone. Six of his sisters had burned in their sleep. The one who had survived went crazy, and she ran away. He was all alone. _

"_Heen! Listen to me." I found him in the guards quarters. With him were five other men. When they saw me they all scattered. He sighed._

"_What is it?"_

"_We're leaving in a week." He stood up quickly. The ciggarette he was smoking dropped out of his mouth._

"_Why? When did you decide this?"_

"_The thing is, I didn't decide! The council did, under the prompting of that bitch Aloi."_

"_Aloi, the council? Those bastards. I will hack there heads off! May my sword not rust?" Heen's feet began to move. _

"_Stop! I told them I would go. No use in arguing a losing battle. Even if it's grudgingly." I shook my head._

"_Anyways, say goodbye to any whore you have." heen's face went purple._

"_Prince! You know I am not like that. I promised you I would be moral." Heen's face went back to its normal color. _

"_When did you do that? I rember no such thing."_

"_Prince… On my ninetenth birthday, just a couple months ago." _

"_. I remember now. Didn't Julient get drunk and toast me?" heen fidgeted. His friend has a low tolerance for alchohol._

"_That was it."_

_When I told Delena, she looked like she was about to cry. I gave her the news when she stopped by. Her mouth quivered, eyes watered, and voice quaked._

"_Since I havent seen my older brother. I've been so lonely. I have fun playing with you."_

"_I know delena. It's not like im going on my own free will. They're forcing me."_

"_You know you can be such an insufferable jerk. You make me want to smack you."_

"_Smack me all you want. You'll be the one in trouble if they find bruises all over my body."_

"_You never show anyone your body, you bathe alone, and you sleep alone. They would never know, unless you told them. You wouldn't."_

"_Would I?"_

"_You wouldn't!"_

"_You sure?" _

"_Positive."_

"_You're sure I wouldn't?"_

"_Damn it doesn't repeat you're self. Its so annoying, and yes you wouldn't."_

_I leaned back onto the wall._

"_Your right. I wouldn't."_

"_I hate you."_

" "_But" I love you!?"_

"_Bastard!"_

"_Lovely lady you are."_

"_Shittie bastard."_

"_I can't see why you arent married yet. You're just so lovely." _

"_You're lucky I won't kill you."_

"_Oh really you wont kill me. Why? Maybe its because you love me. Even though you told me you didn't want to marry me. Oh, god, what should I do? Someone loves me. What do you love about me?"_

"_I promise you I do not love you, and I will kill you. Do not dare to fall asleep."_

"_Really I doubt you could. You wouldn't because you love me. A person doesn't kill their one true love. Though I can't say I will love you back. "_

"_Kaien! I will kill you. I swear."_

"_Okay I'll stop. You're no fun."_

_I held onto him, I was scared._


	7. Chapter six

Chapter 6: Exact relation. Kiss

It was beautiful. The arches curved a golden rise. I was so amazed that I didn't see a man step in front of me. "Your imperial prince, we have been waiting for this day when you would arrive. And you too Heen of the east." he bowed. Nodding towards Heen he motioned for us to walk on.

"When they told me you were very handsome. I didn't believe them. Foolish of me." the monk smiled at me to reveal crooked yellow teeth. Repressing the urge to vomit. I asked him his name. "Prince. I am Yut. If you follow me towards the meeting hall, I will introduce you to my son." glancing at heen I tittered. We entered the room. It was a bit plain, but still homish. A young man stood in the corner. The shadows enveloped him. He was snoring softly. " Yu-jien. Wake up you lazy child man. " the man in the corner opened his eyes to show white irises. I gasped, thinking what a strange color. The man looked at me, with anger. He softened once he saw my purplish eyes. He extended his hand, and I took it. I could feel his breath on my neck as he began to whisper into my ear. His brown hair meshed with mine .

" Hello, my princess." I stepped back.

" Yut can you take me to my room. I am weary from my travels." I sighed. How did so many people know? As I turned I heard Heen growl.

" Leave my prince alone, I will kill you if you touch him again." heen turned towards the door and grabbed my hand. With a wink Yu- jien stepped back to his corner.

"don't let men like him touch you again. He could poison you, or worse he could rape you. Your credibility will go way down. Heen squeezed my hand hard.

"Isabell, is in the room across from you. Her father sent her here because she is so violent." heen listed off more names I vaguely remembered.

"Prince. I must tell you this. I researched this whole area, and found this is where they send rich men's childern. They reform them here." I gasped.

"Heen!? My nail is bleeding!"

"Prince! Did you even listen to me." I shook my head. "Im not a problem. I don't care. And if you look at it from isabell's view. that's probably the only way she can defend her self." Heen glanced at me with soft eyes.

"Okay. Just watch out. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Heen…. I am a man, I can defend my self. I don't think I'm my sister. I can handle it." he opened the door and left. Several minutes went by. The door creaked open.

"Heen, what did you forget? If its your sword, its on my bed." no answer.

"Heen, when you leave again, will you bring me an apple?" still silence. Turning towards the door, I tensed.

"Yu-jien of Yut, what are you doing in my room?"

" I want to know why my first love is parading around as a boy."

"First love, I only met you yesterday."

"But you don't denie you are a female? Then I must be correct. You are kaleen!" he grinned.

" im sorry, you are wrong. I am not Kaleen. She died almost three years ago. I am Kaien, her twin. I'm sorry for the giving you the impression." Yu-jiens face fell.

" she died." I nodded. I hated doing this to him.

" anyways I have no idea who you are, how did you know my sister?"

" I am Yu-jien, lord Akaiz son. In court I was called Ien."

"Ien?"

"Yes. I met your sister long ago in a garden, she had fallen. She was so small, so cute. She couldn't of been more than six." my eyes widened. I remembered who he was now.

When I had ventured off into the garden alone, my foot got caught in a rut. Falling face first, I began to cry. Just as I was going to start screaming, he came. A boy with ash brown hair, his eyes a dim grey. He put his hand on my head and gave me a kiss on my forhead. "Shunput, a sinacora li fiore." "A special kiss for the flower"

"If your father is Lord Akaiz, then why did Yut call you his son? I knew he wasn't your father. He's to ugly, he didn't look a thing like you either." Yu-jien snorted.

"That bastard will never be my father. But since I am in his care…. Anyways, he doesn't control me, I am in my twenties. A grown man." he suddenly became inert.

"I am so sorry prince, but I must leave." I nodded.

"I didn't invite you anyways. It doesn't matter."

"Bye then."

"Good bye"

"I am isabell. My father is Lord Spenz. Every one says I am violent." she bluntly spoke to me. I glanced at her.

"I am kaien, My father was the emperor, and I am insolent plus rude. How do you do?" she laughed. "I heard you had a twin sister. And from how you answered, I think I can be friends with you."

" yes, I did have a twin. Her name was Kaleen."

"I never had any siblings. After I was born my mother committed "suicide". Oh how upset my father was, when I turned out to be a girl." she patted her stomach.

"Even if this little one is a girl, I know I will love her." her stomach protruded like a melon. "Well isabell, what can I say other than, your stomach is huge!?" she chuckled.

"Come then…. with me and meet Ami and Limi."

Ami was tall like a tree, like a willow. Her hair curled far down to her elbows. Limi was short, and had her hair cropped around her ears. On our way to see them isabell explained they were sisters. They loved each other more than their parents, so they were sent to the Monks. Ami, giggled when we entered, motioning to her sister they stared at me.

"Yes I am the prince, and extremely handsome." they laughed again.

Isabell opened a window and sat on a large cushion. "You know Kaien, your hair is so fine and long. How did it become like that?"

"Really, you ask me that? You could of asked me to introduce my brothers to you." Isabell snorted. "Any that are almost eighteen?"

"sorry. I'm the oldest." glancing over Ami and limi I wondered how old they were. As if they were reading my mind they answered.

"Limi is nine!" Shouted Ami.

"ami is fourteen!" shouted Limi. I was amazed they seemed older than that.

"Well ami, I do have a brother who is Fourteen. And for you Limi I have a younger brother who is seven almost eight." they giggled again.

The weather was becoming cold , and before I knew it, the snow had already begun to fall. All of us had started to wear gloves. We all also had a scarf. Mine a purple diamond pattern, and was wrapped around my shoulders. In the distance I saw a fire.

"Yu-jien!" I waved to him.

"So damn cold! Can I stand with you." he nodded.

"This weather is so…… sudden." I began to shiver. I pulled the scarf around my neck.

"Yu-jien? Speak." Yu-jien turned to look at me. His eyes looked a silver color.

"what do you want me to say? Prince?" I bent down and pretended to inspect my shoe.

"Well I was thinking," I pulled a bunch of snow into my hands. " that you would look great with white hair." I threw the snow and it landed on his head.

"Very funny, but look above you." a branch held so much snow that it sagged.

"No! you wouldn't."

"You see, I would."

Isabell was fiery. She had a temper, but could usually hold back. She could be sweet, and soon I had a soft spot for her. Today her stomach rumbled. She sat back and giggled.

" the thing is, I just ate. When your pregnant, your always hungary." We were waiting for Yut to drop by. He was trying to convert me to Fesailan. Yawning, I teared up.

" Isabell? Why do you hang out with me so much. I'm a male. I don't think you love me. So why? Not that I don't enjoy you."

"Kaien, your so sweet, that you remind me of a little brother and I've always wanted someone like that."

"Isabell. I have to tell you something…." I thought for a moment. Should I tell her I was a female? Would she leak that. No, it was to risky.

"What is it?" she asked exasperated.

" never mind." I really liked Isabell. She was so different from any girl I had known. Other than delena. She was some I could look up to.

"I want you to meet my guard. His names Heen."

"Kaien. I already met him." she looked away, as her face turned pink. But then she grew serious. She kept to herself for about three minutes.

"If anything happens to me… promise you'll be the childs father. You never touched me, but I don't want my father to get his hands on my kid."

"Isabell, I will do anything for my older sister."

"Really?"

"Of course." isabell closed her eyes for a second. As I began to get up she snapped her eyes open.

"Kaien.." she growled.

"I want some water. My mouth is so hot and dry." I nodded. Isabell was so cute. She thought that I was actually going to leave her. Laughing to my self I left the room. When I stepped out I felt some one pull on my hair.

" hello, prince." it was Heen.

"Ah? Heen. How are you doing, I havent seen you in three days.

"I had a cold, I told you that I did. And you brought me a gift yesterday. In fact it was this." he lifted his wrist up showing a silver bracelt. It snaked up his lean muscular arm. I started to shiver.

"doesn't ring any bell, you see I was in Pareim yesterday." Heen sighed. He knew I was joking. "Prince, if I could; I would rip your head off and use it as a trophy. Your making me so angry." I stared at him for a moment and we broke out into laughter.

"Liar." I shrieked and he began to laugh harder.

"Well, yes, I would never do such a thing. It would only advance others, who wanted the throne. I want my dear little Prince…" he shook his head "No. My Dear Emperor, to be the greatest he can be." we chattered for awhile until I brought up Isabell. heen grinned, pulled up a water bottle and drunk. My mind registered the task I had been doing.

"Heen? How long have we been talking?" he glanced at the sun, shielding his eyes from its glare.

"Judging by the sun more than thirty minutes?" I had forgotten isabell! She must be parched. Since she could barely move, with her stomach so large, she must be so angry! I ran the hallway with incredible speed. Right before her room I noticed a lump. It was dressed in all red. It was Isabell! Once I reached her, I pulled her to me. She stared with vacant eyes. Was she dead? No I could see the rise of her chest. Opening her mouth she began to gurgle. Her stomach was moving. She snapped back to reality and screamed like a banshi.

"Please help me." she screamed . I understood. She was about to have her baby. I crouched down and lifted her skirt. The babys head was pushing through.

"Isabell? Push! Push hard. I can see it. Push!" isabells faced contorted.

" I cant! It hurts so bad, oh god why does it hurt!" she was bleeding profusely. she couldn't push. I would have to somehow make it come out. I began to kneel on her stomach. Pressing down hard, we heard a wail. Jumping up I ran to the baby, it was a girl.

"she's fine!." isabell didn't answer. I picked up the child and wrapped her in my scarf. Leaning down I looked into her face. "Isabell?" I ventured. Whispering quietly she pulled me close to her.

"Take care of my child. Please don't let my father….." the fire I had once sensend in her diminished. White hot tears formed in the corners of my eyes.

We sat together, mourning together. Heen, Limi, ami, and I watched as her parents strode towards her coffin. Once they had finished they came towards me. Her father glanced at the child.

"I've come to take my grandson."

"…..Granddaughter."

"excause me?"

"I said She's your grandaughter!" he stepped back. In a second he regained composure.

"Well I must leave soon, if you'll give me the child I will be on my way." I shook my head. The man glared hard at me.

"She was my child. No matter how insignificant she may have been. This baby still has my blood."

"No this is not your child, she is mine. I am the father." heen and the girls gasped.

" I never laid a hand on her, I thought of her like a sister. She asked me if anything ever happened, she asked…. Would I be the father. Because you were never a good one to her. I am its father. Now leave or I will have you put to death!" heen glanced at me when the man left. I held the baby tight.

Obiviosuly, I couldn't take care her full time. Thank god, Swarosiky, the maid had just weaned her child, and her breasts still produced milk. Three days after her mothers funeral I named her Sophiet, "Moon rise." I wanted to give her a name with meaning. I chose a word in the old language. I was only sixteen and I had a child, it made me want to laugh.

"Aye. Prince." Heen motioned me over to him. His eyes were red and swollen.

"Heen, you look horrible."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do. Go lay down." he nodded softly. He was really torn up over losing Isabell. I had only seen them together once, but they were a perfect fit. In the three months we had been here, they had grown very close.

"Prince."

"yes."

" Will you give her a middle name? " I shook my head

"Right now my head hurts so bad."

"Can I give her one?"

"Of course, if you want!"

"Izallen."

"Heen that is so beautiful. I never knew that's how you were." he blushed. Izallen means true love, in the old language. As heen left his post, I could hear someone else approach. "Kaien? How are you doing. I know you and isabell had become close. I know it must be hard." it was Yu-jien.

"It is hard, but I cant feel bad for to long. I have a new baby to care for. I must find a way to go back home, constantly I must watch my back, as well as others. I musn't feel bad."

"you don't have to care for the baby."

"I do."

"No Kaien, you have no ties to her."

" I do, her mother asked me to. I need to."

"Kaien. Give her to Yut! And your burdens will ease. You're a young boy. Live a full life."

"Shut up! I want this child. It gives me reason to continue on. She needs me and I need her!"

"Kaien.."

"when my brother died, I lost all hope. My mother never cared for me! Then she died! Then father died!" I don't want this child to be lonely." Yu-jien stared at me as my tears fell.

"When your brother died? You said your sister died." he paused.

"You really are Kaleen!?" I nodded. I was beat, to tired to deny. He gathered me into a hug.

"Kaleen, after you told me you had "died" my heart broke. I didn't want to be around you, but each time we spoke, I felt revieved. Kaleen. I love you." he bent down and kissed me on the lips. Closing my eyes I relaxed. In my mind I pictured Seyth. Pushing Yu-jien away from me, I ran.

How could I do that? Why did I picture seyth? Yu-jien kissed me! All my thoughts messed around with each other.


	8. Chapter seven

I wanted to avoid him no matter what. I knew it would hurt him, still I continued to hide. When ever I saw his black tendreils of hair, I cowered in terror. I couldn't let this last, he knew my secret . Soon I was going to have to talk to him. But I would at least wait another week. I was still so scared. Heen noticed the change in me. As I sat at a fire, he came up behind me and began to rub my shoulders. His hands felt so good that I couldn't say no. soon I was crying.

"Prince?"

" Farther down my back hurts." heen attentively went farther down, caressing my back bone. Suddenly he stopped.

"What?" he gasped. He had found the bandages that hid my breasts.

"Prince were you hurt?" he asked alarmed. I shook my head.

"No…. I wasn't hurt." I cringed as he touched my front.

"Your lying." he began to lift my shirt.

"No! Stop." in a moment I heard a crash. Heen had fallen to the floor. His mouth wide open. Someone was hugging me gently.

"Heen of the east, leave the prince alone, if he says he wasn't hurt, you musnt press the issue." it was Yu-jien. His hair slid down onto my face as I began to cry. Heen got up and quikly left the room.

"Yu-jen! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I must of hurt you again." he pulled me into his chest and I sobbed more. He hushed me and pulled me to the bed near us. Laying with me in his arms I fell asleep.

I awoke several hours later. My body encased by his and a heavy blanket. In a flurry of panic I fell off the bed.

"Really….." he spoke quietly. "Really, that hurts. When I went to the trouble of saving you from being found out. Is this the thanks I get? " I stared at him

" arent you gonna tell? Tell them all im a girl?" I bit back tears. Really I was crying way to much.

"Why would I tell, im just happy to know you're alive." I was dumbfounded. Anyone that was hurt would tell something about another person, something this huge. I didn't think he was any different.

"Kaleen. I love you." his words broke through my thoughts.

"I like you to." he reached for my hand and kissed it.

"You know its not the same."

"I… don't understand you, I hate how I am, how can you love me. What is it that you love?"

"I don't understand it either. You're always so stubborn! You annoyed me when you ran away! You seem like such a child! You're a pain to deal with." Yu-jien covered his face with his hand. "But, you want to continue living even though, you've lost so much. I want to heal your heart. To fill it with happiness." I stayed silent. I thought over the feelings I had, but if I tried to think about Yu-jien my mind would only think about seyth. I realized then.

"I- I love Seyth!" I clenched my fists.

"But, I don't want to say it, not now. It was not something to be said. every time I get near you, you try to make me forget about him. Something tries to end!" I stopped to breathe. My chest was hurting bad.

"Please… don't get near me. I'm already in love. don't try to heal my heart. I will only let him touch it. I can wait for him to make my scars disappear. But even if that never happens, it'll still be fine. Because I love him" I turned from his face. My eyes filled with tears. I was blindly seeing nothing.

" Don't tell me, you'll fill my my heart. Its empty."

"You may think that, but I see it in your eyes. Your crying out to be touched. For someone to love you. Everyone you know doesn't know that your not your brother. So they think that what they give is sufficient. Its not and you know it." Yu-jien grabbed my hand again. Pulling me up to him. His mouth landed once more on my lips, and this time I let him.

We sat in the shade of a tree. Spring had started and the trees sprouted buds. His hand was on my own and I could feel myself slipping into sleep. If I was to sleep there with him, I would be fine.

"_a cloaked man sat across from a beautiful woman with long black hair. She was frowning. As if she did not know who the man was. He though, knew her. Once he let his hood down, her mouth opened in exclamition. She smiled widely, and as the man began to talk she started crying. Her face contorted. This was a great deal painful to her, but the man across from her kept the same expression."_

When I awoke I could feel a presences eating at my heart. I couldn't remember much from the dream except that the woman was sad. Yu-jien sat next to me, and he to had been dozing. I smiled. I thought that after my brother died, I wouldn't be able to feel this good. I may perhaps fall in love with Yu-jien. He was so sweet then and now. He was making me happy. As I glanced at his body, I noticed something that I hadn't before. He had a silver tattoo tracing up his arm. Almost the same one as Seyth. Seyth never told me had a tattoo, but once , when we were near the river, I got a look. It snaked up his arm to his throat. Shaking Yu-jien awake I began to hyperventilate. What if this was seyth? What if….. I was going crazy thinking of the possibilities.

"Yes?" murmured Yu-jien.

"Yu-jien, where did you get this tattoo? He mumbled the reply, but I couldn't hear it.

"Say that again."

"Princess….Hmmm…… a silver haired demon gave it to me a year ago…. Said it would help me protect the one I love." I sighed in relief. After a minute it dawned on me what he said. My face went a crimson color. Sitting up Yu-jien laughed.

"you get embarrassed easily? don't you? Then this…" he paused as he bent his head. He cupped my chin. "Will really embarrass you."

"Ah…….. Yu- jien! Stop it." my face went even more red. As he attacked me with more kisses.

"Oh? But I love you. I want you to know how much I love you. If there was a word for the amount…. I love you like the sun loves the moon."

"the sun loves the moon?"

"yes. it's a story. You want to hear." I nodded this sounded interesting.

"_**Once a prince lived in a kingdom that was filled with light. He had a very kind heart, and was very clever. One day he saw a woman shrouded in black. She was the daughter of a king who lived in the darkness. They were enemies but still he couldn't help falling in love. When he met her face to face, at the border of their country's. she fell in love to. They wished to marrie, but their fathers were stubborn. Maintaining that they lived to separate worlds, he would never be able to live in her world and she in his. Still they loved one another, and they over came the obstacle. When their parents found out they took them back to their lands. The names of these two people were Moon and Sun. The sun loved the moon, and the moon loved the sun". **_Some say they had twin children. Others say they found them. each one took a child. The sun's child later became the king of Dendren. And the moon's child empress of Etren. After that the two sides have fallen in love and been ripped apart many times."

"that's a really beautiful story."

The story weighed heavily on my mind. It was very depressing. Like it spoke to me. I had no idea no why. Four days later it was completely out of my mind. Yut had died, more accuretly was dead. They found his body hanging from a rafter. A smile on his face. I don't belive he killed him self. He was a very religious man, and I do know some about it. A man whos devoted his life to Fasailan, and knows all the teachings, wouldn't commit one of the biggest sins in their bible. Us, the monks and some stray villagers made a procession. Even though he had commited a crime against the God Kamone, and goddess Kamine, for which the monks belived in, they still laid him to rest with a proper burial. I don't think they thought he had killed himself either. Yu-jien didn't really seem to care, he was indifferent as always. As we sat down I saw him glancing at me.

"?" he gave me a questioning look. I shook my head. Several hours later we where alone in my room.

"Kaleen?" he asked attentively.

"What?"

" what is it that your thinking about. Your brow is furrowing, and I don't want you to get frown lines." Yu-jiens face crinkiled into a smile as I put my hands up to my eyes. Suddenly I put my hands down.

"I don't think that Yut killed himself…" I whispered bluntly. Surprisingly Yu-jien nodded.

"I do too."

"I think this may have something to do with my family."

" I think this may have something to do with my sister."

"Sister?"

"Yes.. I have a sister."

" and im guessing shes someone that is also related to me. Not by blood.?" Yu-jien nodded.

"She was Lady Alonette, but when she married she became….."

"Aloi?….."

"Yes."

"Damn it! Why didn't you tell me this sooner!"

"Because I was under their employment until five months ago. I escaped here after I told them I resigned. Yut had been protecting me, that's why he called himself my father."

" What had you been doing?"

"I was an assaisan. Trained from childhood, to run fast and kill fast."

"Ah.. very interesting? So if I ran from you now would you catch me and hold me tight in your arms." I winked at him. He looked uncomfortably around the room, but not in my face.

"I must confess. I was the one who poisoned your mother." he looked away. As if he was ready for me to hit him. I nodded. It made sense.

"I always knew she was poisoned, but I never could find out who did it." I paused. He still wouldn't look at me.

"I wanted to thank them. I hated her more than anyone I have ever known. She was the one who condemnd me to this male persona. The one who placed this mask on me." his eyes widened.

"Really? I was sure you would scream and cry, mabey even hit me. When I studied you to together you looked very happy."

"Nah. She always made me sick. I only seemed happy because she was so stupid."

"Your not angry?"

"I already told you I wanted to thank you? What else could that mean?"

"I don't really know. You could be planning on killing me when I sleep."

"I wouldn't come into your room to kill you."

"Oh? Really."

"Yes." I got up as I finished speaking and opened the door. I started running.

"catch me and I will kiss you." he peeked out the door.

"Easy. You're a slow girl!"

It would rain tonight. I should take a walk now before it starts to pour. I shook my head at the notion to bring someone with me. I couldn't go with Yu-jien, he was studying. Ami and limi were having a tea party, and I didn't know anyone else. I could take sophiet with me…. But I shouldn't. it would be cold. Anyways I enjoyed the solitude, so if I went out alone it would be all right.

I was wrong. The rain began to pound as I was midway in the forest. It stung at my skin like ice. "Shit!" I roared. In a barn at the end of the forest I found heat. Outside had become so cold I began to shiver. Sliding open the two doors I checked to see if it was empty. It was. Albeit two horses in the corner. My clothes were soaked, and I didn't want a cold. So I ended up taking off my clothes "Mew." Screamed a cat as I went to lay down in the hay. I rolled over quickly and found a half squished kitten mewling.

"Sorry little one…" I whispered. He was so soft and warm, that it made me want to hold onto him forever.

It was a boy and I named him Riley, soon he began to follow me wherever I went. His tail stood straight up and he frowned at every one. Yu-jien took a liking to him. Each time we went to his quarters the cat would jump on him and begin to purr.

"sweets…. I like this cat. But can you tell me where you got this little fuzz ball." he gave me a quizzical look.

"In a barn, he saw me naked too." he blushed up.

"Damn cat! I'm so jealous." the cat turned to look at me.

"so he knows you're a woman.?"

"I cant say im a woman im still only sixteen."

"I think that you are a woman, beautifuly a woman. But he knows? And I bet you told him you're a princess."

"Why would I tell him that I'm a princess." the cat stopped licking his paw.

"Iddiot."

" I don't know I just get a bad feeling."

"Anyways Im an iddiot? You're the iddiot pretending to be something your not. When you get back you need to tell them that you are kaleen. Now that your father is dead you can be empress in peace."

"I wont."

"why not?"

" Because, whats dead is dead, whats gone is gone. I can manage being a male." Yu-jien frowned.

"what if…" he began softly.

"I want to marry you." I gasped loudly.

"I don't know." his face fell. He reached for me and I fell into him.


End file.
